Thoughts on Taraji P. Henson and Self-Worth
I have been thinking a lot about Taraji P. Henson’s viral interview where she spoke about pay disparity in Hollywood:
“[I’m] tired of working so hard, being gracious at what I do and being paid a fraction of the cost and people are like ‘you work a lot’ well, I have to, the math ain’t mathing.”
Her comments resonated with me. Under her tears and talk about money was a profound feeling of being undervalued. But here’s the thing, two things can be true at the same time:
Henson can be undervalued by others, and Henson can be undervaluing herself.
As a Black woman academic I’ve never been paid what I know I am worth, and that’s compared to faculty of my rank — I’ve checked and that math ain’t mathing. But there are few faculty of my rank at any school who can write the way I do, give lectures the way that I do, and just make this work look as easy as I do, even though it is not easy at all.
It all boils down to how your define wealth and your self-worth. My salary is one way I am valued as a professor, but it is not the only metric I use to assess my worth as a thought leader.
“Self-worth is what you request, what you require, and what you expect for yourself and from others, as a function or reflection of how you see and hold yourself within yourself”
I create opportunities for myself because I have always known that in our world, Black women and women in general are not often handed anything, even when we deserve it and ask for it. But the good news is it is 2024, not 1924. In today’s western world (a lot of sistas in other parts of the world are still fighting for these rights) we have agency. We can build the life we want, we don’t have to wait for a person to hand it to us.
Source: Unsplash
I have been in Canadian academia for 10 years. When I entered the job market at that time there were few newly minted scholars of Black Canadian studies, and few jobs that fit my expertise. So I hustled, like the best of them, and landed a sessional teaching job at the University of Toronto University College teaching Black Canadian Studies, and I worked as a teaching assistant in Visual Studies at U of T Mississauga, where I eventually also worked as an instructor. I had a PhD from McGill but I humbled myself big time and took the work as it came.
When you become faculty, however, pay becomes a subjective calculation that you have no clue what it’s based on. One’s rate of pay is a mystery and there is nothing you can do about it, no matter your work, output, awards, honours, etc. you pretty much stay paid at par to your peers, at the top of the spectrum, or underpaid compared to colleagues. Even if you become director of a program, and take on a much higher work load, that does not necessarily come with a significant change in your pay.
Pay, in other words, is not commensurate with labour. You truly do not know what the metrics are.
A promotional still of Taraji P. Henson as Cookie Lyon on Empire, as depicted in 2015. Source (WP:NFCC#4), Fair use.
Yvette Nicole Brown said in an interview with CNN, “we’re tired of it being just the way it is,” having to constantly fight for the things others simply get handed. Henson has been working for decades, she’s been nominated for an Oscar, was on a hit TV show, Empire (2015-2020) and yet, she is still on a panel crying about not being treated right, asking “where is my raise.” The actor says she has not seen a raise in her income since she starred in the film, “Proud Mary” (2018).
In 2016, I remember the feeling when I learned that I had won a prestigious Banting Postdoctoral Fellowship. I felt a shift in my spirit. Finally, I thought, my work was being valued by a major funding agency. I was teaching a course at the University of Toronto Scarborough (UTSC) called Topics in Media, Identities and Politics, which drew from media studies, visual culture, communication studies, critical race theory, surveillance studies, feminism, queer theory, and television studies. As I shared the news with my class, they clapped and roared so loud. It was a moment!
Looking back on it, winning the Banting was not validation at all, it was an opportunity. A door had finally opened, but I had to walk through the door, and do something with the opportunity I had been given.
Source: Unsplash
Now that I had walked through that open door, it became my mission to open doors for others whom I have given my time, advice, and energy toward. And I’ve done so without asking anything in return from them. Even when I have given opportunities to people who did not appreciate them, I still keep those people in my spirit as they are on their own self-worth journey.
But one thing that can happen when you’re a giver is that you attract takers who deplete your energy. Before you know it, you’re mentally, physically, spiritually weak and it can take years for you to realize how it happened. So part of the work is also letting people make their own mistakes, saying NO when you need to, and understanding the difference between supporting someone and saving someone.
One of the conversations we rarely have in our schools is about wealth. How do you define wealth? Is one’s rate of pay the only metric for being a “wealthy” person? Why do we feel shame if we have to, or choose to, have more than one source of income? Where is that shame coming from? Comedian Luenell has an interesting take on this topic, and on Henson’s comments.
I have the same sense of myself today as I did 20 years ago when I worked in insurance and made $35,000 a year. The only thing that has changed is my self-worth — my expectations of myself and others, as a reflection of how I see myself.
Just like Henson, others like Viola Davis and Mo’Nique have publicly shared their lack of renumeration for the work that they do. And I’m not saying they’re not right for doing so, what I am saying is I don’t think they fully realize the powerful impact of their words. They might not make the money their peers make acting, but in terms of symbolic capital, these women are rich. And they use that to inspire and in some cases have co-created new income streams for themselves.
Owning your power means recognizing that, after 10+ years, you no longer have to wait for doors to open for you, you can build your own house. And you can also build that house with a team of people, you do not have to do it all alone.
Source: Unsplash
Furthermore, you do not need a leadership role to be a leader. Your self-worth is not based on your title or your rank. Whoever you believe yourself to be is always reflected back to you.
I cannot wait for the Taraji P. Henson production company that co-produces films with other Black women actors or Henson as executive producer on the projects she is passionate about. She’s not going to get there as one person, but as a community I know much can be accomplished.
Source: Unsplash
“I don’t know what the future may hold, but I know who holds the future”
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